benjamin button

walking across a parking lot with the ice of your breath creating a haze before you.
alone. always alone in your thoughts where no one will ever reach you.
where only you and God know just how deep the depths of your soul run.
everything seems beautiful, everything so clear. everything new, like you've never seen it before.
the world moves in slow motion before you, behind you, around you.
and suddenly you feel old and burdened and sad.
the moment you realize none of it is real. once you step foot into reality, there's no coming back.
there's quick visits here and there, but nothings ever permanent.
and there's so much beauty in the sadness. so much beauty to behold, as life sinks its claws into you and thrashes away at your imaginary existence.

and you realize the only reason you felt so wonderful, yes, wonderful, that's the word, is because for a moment you fooled yourself. for an unsatisfying and fleeting moment, you pictured yourself as loved. you pictured being the object of someone's affection. an object of endless fantasy. and with every fiber of your being you want to be swept off your feet and head right on out of this world. you want your head to lift up and be greeted by him. yes, you. and it's here. he's finally here. what youve been waiting for. for so long.